I don’t wear a purity ring. Growing up, all the good girls wore the rings. They showed them off, explained the repetitive meaning behind them, and talked about their vows to wait until marriage. Purity. I’ve sat through countless conversations, conferences, and sermons about standards. Purity. We treat it like an object, sometimes even like a spiritual being. We hold it in high regard. We say the word with an air of profoundness, acting as if we understand it. I became so obsessed with the status of being pure that I completely missed the message about the grace and mercy of Jesus. So when I made my share of mistakes, shame was an intimate companion. I’ve talked to countless men and women who struggle with this idea of purity. Especially if you grew up in the church, purity sometimes sounds like the ultimate sign of a good Christian. If you’re not “pure,” then you have committed the ultimate act of betrayal against God and yourself… or so it seems.
I hate this. And when I say hate, I truly, deeply mean hate. I despise this concept. I loathe the shame that this definition brings. I abhor the guilt we heap upon the topic. Being a virgin is not synonymous with being a good Christian. A purity ring is not the ultimate symbol of faith. Waiting until marriage is not a sign of your worth. Sexual purity is not tied to a moment in time. It isn’t something that is once there and can be taken away never to be seen again. It’s a state of being – emotional, spiritual, physical. And nothing is irredeemable. You can feel whole again, no matter your sexual history (there’s a reason it’s called history). You are worthy of love, no matter what you have or haven’t done. Jesus died for you so that shame would not rule your life. He died so that you would be free from the lie that you are not enough. He died so that you would live in freedom from the chains of guilt and regret. And then He rose again so that victory would become your narrative. So I don’t wear a purity ring. According to tradition, I probably don’t deserve it because I’ve done some things that those enforcing purity culture wouldn’t approve of. But you know what? In my failures, in my embarrassments, in my moments of weakness, I have seen how incredible my God is. I have seen Him swoop down and direct me towards life again. I have seen Him take parts of my story that a younger me would despise, and make them some of my most favorite parts of my testimony to tell. I don’t need a ring, certificate, or acknowledgement of my standards to know that I am pure and beautiful and BLAMELESS in the eyes of my Savior. Purity. It’s the place Jesus takes us to as we walk with Him. And sexual purity? It’s redeemable. It isn’t tied to your virginity or boundaries or closed-door mistakes. There’s a reason Jesus rose from the dead: to bring life to what once was in the ground. That goes for your purity. You may think it’s long gone, but that’s just another lie from the enemy. Jesus redeems everything.
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AuthorI'm a college student with a passion to empower women, spread the love of Christ, and speak truth into the darkness. I also really like cats and Taylor Swift. Archives
October 2018
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